Pamela had reached out to me online & I met up with them in Red Deer a few days later. We sat in a booth at Tim Hortons & talked for over an hour & I loved hearing all about how they met & how they’re incorporating each of their cultures into the big day! When asking how they met & how the proposal went down… I just had to let them tell you in their own words 😉

“You reach a certain age where most, if not all your friends are married, and all their friends are married; you gave up the bar scene years ago; dating your coworkers becomes a really bad idea and seems like every fix up is with someone who’s single for a reason. What is an eligible, attractive man or woman to do but turn to online dating. Neither of us were new to online dating, and each had our share of “unsuccessful dates”. We were both at the point of re-evaluating if we would have to compromise on our “must haves and cant stands” when we met each other. Like their ads say, Match.com really does deliver.

Allan’s family is from Ghana, and their marriage traditions are quite different from us Canadians. First off, there is a vetting process where by both sides’ parents meet and get to scope out the prospective inlaws before any sort of engagement is even proposed. This was done Thanksgiving 2014. I, as the future daughter in law, underwent an interview like process, and the entire Kutuadu family was provided opportunity to weigh in on if I would make a good candidate for Allan to marry. Luckily I passed this stage with flying colours. I appreciated the honesty and openness of the family I will be entering.

Secondly its not uncommon in Allan’s culture for you to be engaged Friday and married Saturday. so the wedding planning is pretty much done before the “engagement” occurs. This means that Allan and I had the venue booked, budget agreed upon, guest list tentitvley set, bridal party and even colours selected months before the question was even popped.

Third, the custom is that you follow the customs of the bride, meaning Allan has to do whatever my cultural customs are. If I was of Allan’s tribe i would have gotten a dowry, that’s right, he would have paid to marry me…. paid anything I wanted and anything my parents wanted. However…. being 5+generation Canadian, any ties to my Celtic or Scottish heritage are long gone and the only engagement custom I’m aware of is “the ring” and parental blessing. Allan and I had already looked at rings, and I was pretty confident on the final 2 options I would be getting when he decided to. I had taken Allan for a drive months prior and my mom had me read Allan her list of expectations for marrying her daughter on the day that he asked for a “formal blessing” in June before they left for their trip to Europe.

 In September of 2015 I had a conference to attend in Ottawa and Allan was going out to visit his family in Mississauga. We had planned to meet up in Ottawa for a few days, then drive to stay with his folks a few days before heading to Niagara Falls for a getaway. I fully assumed he would “pop the question” in Niagara, but he caught me totally off guard. I had spent a very hot day walking around Ottawa myself, then went for a massage, so I was not only sweaty and oily, but was wearing yoga pants and a tank top. Allan wanted to go out for dinner & our hotel was downtown Ottawa.. so we had our pick of every restuaruant you could imagine. Every place we walked past he said he didn’t like, finally we get to this Castle looking hotel, and he picks this as the one he wants to eat at…..with me in sweaty yoga pants and oily hair. By some miracle they let us in. Allan ordered appies, meal and dessert…which he NEVER DOES, and he kept asking me if I needed to use the washroom….something was off for sure.

After dinner, I noticed I had left a ring my parents had given me at the spa and Allan just broke me the news he would not be coming to my sisters wedding with me, as he had major family engagement the same day in Mississauga. I was bummed to say the least. He was ansy, it was a very odd moment. When he reaches into his jacket (which I had questioned why he had brought to begin with, it was almost 30 degrees out?) and puts this perfect, pretty, purple box on the table (that’s right, the Michael Hill purple box)….. I immediately knew what ring it was. And Allan said the most real words he could…..”here you go, yes or no?”.Of course I was gonna say yes, but being the girl I am, I needed a little more “romance” than that, so I took him by the hands, and calmly said “Allan, when I tell the story of how this all went down, cause people are going to ask, what would you like me to say that you said? Is there anything more you want to say to me than “here you go….yes or no?” Thankfully he gave me all the right lines about us and how he feels. He told me I could only look in the box if the answer was yes. There were no hysterics, just a beautiful, calm, private, real moment between us in our corner booth.”

 Allan + Pam will be saying I do at the very sought after Willow Lane Barn in Olds this coming Fall! They are incorporating both cultures & making their families a huge part of the celebration & I can’t wait to see what these two have in store & to capture all the fun!

See you both soon!

Locations: Water Valley Church & Reader Rock Garden